International Pole Camp 2010!

Wow, where to start?!

Firstly a mahoosive thank you to Alena Downs and everyone who put so much work into planning, organising and delivering IPC 2010!

It only struck me half way through the weekend that it would be perfectly normal to be quite daunted by the thought of flying 9 hours from the UK to Canada to meet a group of people I'd never met before... That thought had never crossed my mind: The pole community is so amazing, so friendly, helpful, welcoming and unique that when I landed in Calgary on Wednesday, I felt like I was about to meet up with old friends.

When I saw 2 girls checking into the hotel on Thursday (after a lot of shopping in the mall!), one wearing a pole shirt, it was simple to just go up and say hi. My first new friends, Linda and Monique.

Thursday night was the first IPC event, the cocktail party, which was a great way to get to know each other. It was also an opportunity to perform - which I utterly love and wish I could do more! This was only the 4th time I'd ever poled in public in a club type environment and every time I do it I want more! It was also great to see everyone else doing their thing, see the guest instructors (Karol Helms, Alethea Austin and Josiah Grant) totally rocking the pole.

The beautiful thing about the pole community is it doesn't matter how good you are, nobody is comparing or judging (How do you follow Karol Helms? You just get up there and do it, do what you do, even if it's not as great as what she does). Everyone knows we were all beginners once, were all intermediate, and are all still learning, we all appreciate what everyone has to offer.

Community and camaraderie were mentioned many times over the weekend. IPC was of course an amazing example of this , but I haver to mention something else I experienced recently. I was watching a competition here in the UK and this beautiful girl with a fabulous costume began her routine, which promised to be great. Then 30 seconds in, she froze, or forgot her moves, and just stopped. I could see her so upset, a little shake of her head as if to say "I can't do this, I've got to get off this stage". And instead of the crowd going quiet, rippling with sympathetic murmurs, we erupted. We cheered and applauded like she'd just pulled off the most amazing trick in the world. We weren't letting her off that stage! In our cheers, we told her how much we loved her, that these were her 3 minutes and that we wanted to see her. And she carried on and I watched with tears in my eyes at how amazing the pole community is.

So back to IPC. I love performing. My tricks aren't amazing, I probably still hold myself with that stiffness in my upper back that my dance examiners commented on as a child (in fact, I know I do as Alena pointed it out!) so I'm not as fluid as I'd like... but everyone is so amazing and encouraging that I know it doesn't matter, I can get up there and do what I love, and every pole person there will whoop at the good bits and not laugh at the bad bits, just as we all do for everyone who gets up there. I get such a buzz out of performing and I love IPC for giving me that opportunity. As if that wasn't enough, Josiah came up to me and said he loved watching me! Wow!

Friday was instructor workshops and the party bus Whiskey nightclub night out! "Your Man" by Down With Webster will now always be the IPC Party Bus song! The buses were epic and were like the icing on the cake of the weekend, I totally rate the Party Machine buses! Thank you Tom and crew for sponsoring IPC and providing epic transport :)

Throughout the weekend, I had workshops (one-2-one or small group) with all the instructors as well as the group workshops on Saturday and Sunday. I've got plenty of new things to practice, and have shared some of what I know with others. One of the other (many) wonderful pole things is that there's always something to learn from someone else, whether it's a variation on something, a spin you've never seen before, a new trick, an inspiration... Alena gave some great talks on safety, spotting and grips, stuff every poler needs to know. She's so knowledgeable about the human body and the mechanics of pole, it's amazing to have the opportunity to learn from her... and indeed meet her in person! I've had online lessons with Alena (brilliant, by the way: if you want to do them, then do, they are great) so it was great to go from 2D to 3D! Hell, IPC was 4D, the pole dimension is a whole other dynamic to add to everything!

A big shout out to all my roomies: Kenna, Krista and Veronika, and then Brenda, Mel, Linda and Monique! And all the other wonderful people I met, laughed and poled with, I won't name everyone as I'll miss someone out but you all know who you are!

Thank you Heather for the herbal remedies and for looking out for me when I totally crashed on Saturday lunchtime... (as well as everyone else who checked on me to see if I was ok) and thank you to the wonderful lady who gave me the ginger ale at the same time, I've no idea who you are as I was so spaced out but thank you, it really did help!

I'm running out of momentum to write this, there are so many more things I could write about and even then it wouldn't cover everything that happened and what a totally unique and amazing experience IPC was. I've made new friends and have memories that will last for ever. If anyone from IPC comes to the UK, you are more than welcome to stay with me, and my instructor Lisa will open her studio to you (loads of lovely high X-poles to play on!) for free too!

I hope to be back next year, and aim to bring some other folk from the UK with me too...

Love and pole

Spinning!

I go through phases of preferring spinning or static pole. Once I enter a phase, my home pole stays on that mode for months. I'm back to being spinny :)

Of course, that might totally gimp my abilities when I go to Canada in September (IPC Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!) but hey ho, it's all good fun :)

So, after my big depressive braindump a few weeks ago, I'm feeling prety good today. Generally though, my depression has been causing major, serious hell. But whatever, it can go f'*ck itself *grin*. I'm going to see my homeopath/kinesiologist on Wednesday and I'm sure she will sort me out, she's worked miracles in the past :)

My strength is coming back slowly. In class on Thursday my handspring straight edge was loads stronger, held it for a good long time. I utterly love holding that move, I love how secure it feels and I still get a buzz out of being able to do it. We did doubles too, straight edge to aysha.

Oh, and my caterpillar came back (hurrah!). Still a weak move for me, still need to practice it loads but it's all strength and the more you do something the stronger you get and the more your muscle memory improves. Also pulled of a spinning knee hold. Woop woop.

Failed a bit at a pike. Hip holds hurt like hell and I dislike them. Therefore, they need to go on my list of things to practice a lot!

Scorpio is there now, doesn't hurt like it used to and I've only just realised I'm no longer having problems with it, man I swear that move is the one that's taken me the longest to learn ever. I'd stick a scorpio in the lower intermediate bracket and it's taken me 2 years to get. Oh well, I got there eventually. That's progress :)

Oh and, I have actually been doing some stretching. And........ *drum roll please* I can see progress in my splits! Really happy with that.

I think I'm past the "OMG new move I'm so happy!" phase. There are loads of things I can't do, but I am very much now wanting to improve and perfect what I can already do, as opposed to just going "new move, new move, new move." So to improve on my flexibility, peformance and control would be amazing.

So, feeling good over all. We like it when that happens :)

Slow progress - but it's progress (and why 'can't' is sometimes appropriate)

I'm just trying to work things out in my head, so forgive me if I ramble a bit...

I have depression. I have to accept that. Sometimes it gets in the way, more often than I would like. I am ambitious, I know I am capable of far more than I can do. But sometimes I can't do it.

[that will be 5 pressups then.... 2nd rule of Pantera's class, you do not say can't. If you do, 5 pressups!]

On the list of things not to say to a depressed person is "Just pull yourself together and get on with it." I think I've fallen into the trap of believing I ought to be able to do just that, and beating myself up about the fact that it's not something I seem to be able to do.

My mood cycles up and down and when I'm up, I get things done, I do my stretching routine, I learn new tricks, I get all fired up about pole.... When I'm down, I have little energy, no drive to do any pole work, and if I actually try to do some, half the time my body doesn't obey and I end up stopping, disheartened.

Sometimes, though, I feel like I use my illness as an excuse. It's very easy to fall into bad habits and I know that even if I wasn't ill, self-discipline would not be one of my strong points! It's hard to know where the line is between genuine reasons for not doing things, and just learned habits - or laziness.

I need to accept that I have depression. I need to accept that I have limitations and that some days I can't do things (sorry Pantera). Some days, 'can't' is the right word. I need to accept it, and not be ashamed about it, not feel frustrated by it and know that it will pass, and in a day or a few days I will feel better. With my depression, sometimes there is no pushing through it.

[As an aside, I love the idea of not saying 'can't' when poling, it's a great attitude and sometime that really works for me when trying to learn something new. The Pantera workshop was awesome.]

I also need to accept that those days are few and far between. I rarely have very black days now. Thankfully those days are mostly in the past. Now, I can go to work, I can muster enough energy and mental strength to get up and walk the dogs and I can get up off the sofa to
make a cup of tea and it doesn't take me half an hour to pull myself together enough to do it. I have achieved so much and come so far in the last 7 years (gosh, has it been that long since I was too ill to work?). I run a successful business, I own my own house, I'm more confident and I'm really happy with where I am in life.

But because of this, I seem to think I ought to be able to be an amazing poler too.

I set my standards very high, and I'm a perfectionist.

That means I think I expect too much of myself. Where pole is concerned, I think I probably compare myself to the really high-achievers too much. I don't so much mean the elite - Pantera, Jenyne, etc. I mean people like TriplexBex and Robyn, and those people who are home polers who work so hard and achieve so much. Their dedication is inspiring, but I find myself comparing, and falling far short.

I ask a lot of myself. I need to stop and look at what I have achieved. I also need to realise I can't demand of myself the dedication of some people. I work full time on my own business, which demands more than 9-5, I can't leave it at the office when I go home for the day. I'm renovating my house, which takes time and headspace, I have 2 dogs who need walking everyday, a boyfriend I want to spend time with... And I need to find time to pole outside of that.

At the moment, my depression is mostly manifesting itself with sleeping issues and general motivation. Of late, my body's been demanding 8-9 hours sleep a night, and not letting me sleep til after 11pm. Getting into the office for 9am is verging on impossible under those conditions. Luckily I'm the boss so it doesn't matter too much, but I do like to be in as soon as I can and therefore it's no wonder I'm not doing my stretching in the morning! Work often takes it out of me, so finding the energy to do anything more than walk the dogs in the evening is often a challenge.

I think I make a pretty good case for why I feel I'm neglecting the pole of late (and let's not forget that I have had a really bad back for 6 weeks too).

But this then brings me back to the fine line between 'good reason why I'm not doing something' and 'sheer laziness/ bad habits'. I'm really not sure which I am. Probably both, sometimes one, sometimes the other.

The UKAPP competition is in 6 weeks. I've known about it for 6 months and I still don't have my routine done. I've got the concept and my costume done, but no routine. I'm pissed off with myself. I should have had it done. Why haven't I? I could have done. I think my bad back really disheartened me. It's hard when I seem to have to battle depression and then my physical body gangs up on me too. I was so upset about having a bad back and not being able to pole that I just didn't want to know. Was that depression, or was that just me having a lesser attitude than I aspire to? Should I have tried to 'pull myself together'? Could I have?

...

Where do I go from here? My back is so much better, and I have a competition to plan for! Right now, tonight, I feel physically lethargic. Sometimes I think the mental act of taking myself upstairs to the pole room and getting ready (sadly, I have an intense dislike of warming up, but won't pole without it, usually meaning I end up doing neither) is a bigger hurdle than finding the physical energy. It's rare I feel fully lively, and a normal level of energy is suffiicient to pole with.

I need to set myself realistic targets. Normally, I'd start with a 'pole 2-3 times a week' but with UKAPP coming up, I need to do a bit more than that. But, trying to jump in with poling 5 times a week from nothing isn't realistic and will be counter-productive.

So:
Write up a rough routine tonight, or at least half of it.
Pole tomorrow (Sunday).
Pole Tuesday night.
Pole class on Thursday.
Pole on Friday night.

Have a look again at the weekend to see how I'm getting on.

I need to be realistic.

Some days I can't. But some days I can, and I need to try and use those days a little better.

Exciting

So, stuff's happening!

I am entered in UKAPP this year - intermediate level.
I'm off to a pole jam this weekend in aid of Haiti...
I'm off to a pole jam in Swindon at PoleFun the following weekend
I'm going to the UKAPP Suzie Q masterclass at Spin City in Bristol in April
I'm going to enter Pole Divas again once it's open....

It's all happening!

Last night I did another PoleJunkies workshop, this time with Karol Helms (REDKE71) and learned some fab stuff. Definitely a fan of the online workshops! Learned the Reverse Aysha, which I got relatively easily, which I'm really happy about. Other stuff was a fair way above my level but really good to hear how to do it nevertheless.

I'm also meeting up with Rosetta at the Pole-da-cise Melksham studio on Thursday... I've not seen her since the Cabaret in December and it will be really good to catch up and do some pole!

I think this year is going to be a good one :)

Last day of my twenties...

Yup that's right, I'm turning 3o tomorrow. Woohoo.

Do I care? Mostly no, but a little. It's like a New Year, but different.

Anyway, this is where I'm at with flexibility at the moment
http://www.polejunkies.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1407&p=2828#p2828

I'm really, really getting into Pole Junkies at the moment, it's brilliant. I've been offline from pole forums for a while now but I'm getting back into it and I'm really going to keep it up this year.

Did an online workshop with Alena Downs today which was great. Simple things like - how do you grip the pole when you spin? emphasis on the top of the hand or the bottom? Can make the difference between slip grip (sliding down the pole too fast) and death grip (can't move). By concentrating more on gripping with the muscles in the palm of my hand, my spins on a static pole are lasting for a few more rotations which is great.

Also some exercises for the boomerang. I can't get my legs horizontal, let alone in an upwards V and Alena explained which muscles (the psoas) control it and some exericses to strengthen it. One of these would be sitting in a V on the floor, hands in front, and lifting the feet. Well, I can't lift my feet at all and so she said put one leg folded in (like half lotus but on floor) and lift foot. On the left side this is fine. On the right, my dodgy hip reveals itself - it hurts and clicks and I can't get it off the floor. Hmph. Not really sure what to do about that for now.

Some work on basic inverts too. Am getting them much better now I'm moving my hips round the front of the pole, something Alena confirmed is correct, and will help me with my air invert too. Woohoo.

So, I'm not far off the splits, which is nice. And I've got some progress pictures as a marker.
Also got some really nice nude photos taken by my rather talented boyfriend. Something I said I wanted to do. :)

So, this year I am determined to:

• Increase my core strength (And indeed general strength; Alena said today it's not just core, it's all the other muscles around it too, need to work on all of them)
• Get the handspring/ jacknife etc reliably
• Get the knee hold reliably and from up the pole
• Reliable Scorpio
• Spinning scorpio
• Strong invert
• Aysha (please?!)
• Feel more confident with my floorwork
• Work on my iguana mount
• Get a cross ankle release back up to the pole (from legs off the pole, I can do a CAR situp)
• Try twisted grip
  

Got past the plateau!! :)

For a while now I've felt like I've been on a plateau where I'm barely improving.

Well today totally smashed that!

I've *nearly* found the sweet spot on my split grip invert!! My straight edge is 50% repliable now AND I can go over into the jacknife, which previously I couldn't do at all. So, I'm very happy!

Add to that my splits progress is coming along really well and I played around with a couple of the things from the vid I mentioned last time... I wil be updating my YouTube soon, but I haven't got time to edit the videos before sleep tonight :)

My scorpio is getting better. I got a lot of help and advice from the folk at Studio Veena and that's really helped. Making sure I had the armpit grip I think was the key. It still hurts but I know that will ease with time. At least I can do the move now :)

I'm happy and this had given me the energy burst and inspiration I needed to get back on the pole and carry on improving things.

Good stuff. Night night :)

Heart rate

Ok so maybe it's 'cause I'm feeling a bit like I've eaten far too much of the wrong thing of late (well, it is Christmas!!). But I thought I'd actually see what my heart rate is. If I'm any good, I'll check this over the next few days to see what my average is. But anyway today:

1500, large lunch an hour ago, just had dessert, 78bpm resting (30 secs x2)

I'm finding it hard to find a definitive 'healthy range' but from what I can tell anything over 80 isn't good. Different sites seem undecided as to whether 60-80 is ok or 70-80. Either way, I'm pushing 80. I will try and remember to count tomorrow morning before getting up as that's when you're supposed to test it.

I would guess my recovery rate is fairly good though, it feels like it usually is. I will have a check next time I do some exercise which hopefully will be in a few days!